Wednesday, August 30, 2006
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damm. i really was dreading this. i think its a sign.
haha. at least it isnt english or smth.
posted R @ 8:25 pm
hullo duck.
to begin with i really DO NOT believe that i have one and a half weeks left of my vacation. i mean, yes, no holiday is really long enough, but i guess its just the whole routine thing that i have to return to.
u know how, when u are in the throes of despair studying for some exam, u make grand plans for ur holidays? well for me, and as most of u have heard me say over and over again, it was to lose ALOT of weight. but, well, that didnt happen and it isnt gg to in a while.
but, never the pessimist and the eternal optimist that i am. i have decided to do this-
1. meet rich man
2. marry and hope he dies
3. get personal trainer
4. get desired body shape while maintaining already impeccable face
ok, quite honestly, marrying the rich kind isnt gg to be my thing. aiya all these rich ppl have a problem. and anyways i dont think my fisherman father can afford dowry.
and as most of u know, my friends in singapore have dwindled down to a single number. but this time i think i really did get to know a whole bunch of ppl who's company i trullly enjoy.
but still, i am looking forward to seeing u guys again. and yes, cherie, i will come back and rid u of boring vanessa's curse. and the sarawakian, i will rid of u empty house curse. yes, yes, the highlight of ur life will be back on the 10th of sept.
have i ever mentioned? i think the ideal country for me, is the physical structure of singapore and the ppl of malaysia. cos the problem i have here is the ppl(they should all just die) and the prob i have there is the general place.
i do realise this post, is weird. its the lack of sleep.
posted R @ 8:12 pm
Saturday, August 26, 2006
hullo duck.yesterday was another one of those medical students gathering thing.
it was the usual dinner-mingle-try act smart and rich-go to Wala's (yay for wala's!) thing.
somebody mentioned that i make friends really easily, that i was the supposed only outsider in the whole thing but i happen to know more ppl than him in the room where he is supposed to know more ppl.
yes.
the big problem is, i hardly enjoy the company of the pple last night. i mean, yes- they're pretty nice. they're pretty funny. they seem to treat me ok. (some more ok than the others)
but i keep looking over my shoulder for that quiet girl i spoke to who's spoke to me just now but seems to have disappeared. or the really shy boy who told me he'd much rather go to Border's cos the whole social gathering thing is not his thing. i find myself among a group of guys and girls who are obviously out to outdo/impress each other and how to enjoy anything with a bunch like that?
they way this person so obviously has a thing for that other person across the room- seemed to me that it was more an SDU thing than some medical students thing.
i guess, when i remove my IMU cap and put on my IJ and VJC cap, i fit in. ppl talk to me. i become someone else for a while.
this someone else that i am talking about? lets just say i used to be her. i dont really like her and i am not exactly proud of her. i try to shake her off every once in a while, and sometimes when i find myself with my usual enliy-amy-van-jo-al-andrew-isk-syed-irf-ke-cherie watnot company, i think she is almost gone.
but last night i think she came back for a visit.
thank god for IMU.
posted R @ 8:41 pm
Thursday, August 24, 2006
hullo duck.so as i have made it known before, i really DONT like clubbing.
i abhor the loud music, smoky atmosphere, watered down drinks, general crowd and watnot.
but the other night at MOS was not too bad. i went with the bunch of ppl i got to know thru the SGH A&E dept. there werent many since most went home after the BBQ but there were
cecilia, the (really hot) norwegian girl
antonio, the (even hotter) portugese guy (who's really funny!)-we have the same taste in cheesy music!
and there was yuen. the (total jackass) BBC who ditched us for some ugly ang moh guy(i swear yuen is gay)
but yes. the ang-mohs commented that singaporeans can be pretty weird. i think it was cos we were all pretty freaked out by this girl who was in the main arena. i mean, i think we have seen weird ppl but none quite like her. she had a really nice body but her entire face was covered with this shiny black mask( smth like a swimming cap ) and she was dancing like a pro. like, she's blind and this bunch of guys do all sorts of things to her from all directions (and i mean all directions) and she just lets them and gosh it was just weirrrrrrrd.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
but, even tho i enjoyed myself more than i normally would at some smoky noisy club, i dont think i'll go in a while.
anyways yesterday was rag week and i had to dress up as a nurse to ask for donations. the whole nurse get-up was clarissa's idea since i used to complain that all the old ppl in the waard used to call me Misi. which is malay for nurse. so yesterday i was the malay misi who went around singing for ppl for like, lose change.
(my invented song went like this, "spare some change for medical research. it would make my day and would certainly make yours!") it didnt rhyme at all but i guess it worked!
i realised one thing tho, that the ppl who normally donated the most fell into the follwing categories:
1. malays
2. poor ppl
3. old aunties
4. smokers
hence i have new-found respect for them. its amazing how nice these ppl are.
and the ppl who literally ran away from us like we were the plague fell into the follwing categories
1. rich ppl (u can tell la since the minute they take out their branded wallets with wads of notes, from their branded bags and dig thru their 5 cent coins with perfectly maicured nails)
2. ang mohs
3.a certain racial group that coined the above word in the first place
4. young poly students ( i swear its the complex)
anyways, this measly shrimp that i approached started scolding me and was saying mean things to me and so i said good luck to u when u die of lung cancer i will be by your side laughing my head off. and then i ran away.
i felt good. haha.
no la i felt shitty and i dint want him to die. i just wanted him to donate. or just refuse. ignore me also can. but scold? wtf?
posted R @ 9:59 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
hullo duck.did u know that
i never believe it when ppl tell me that they broke up on mutual terms.
in my mind, the world works like this:
First:
there is always someone who initiates the idea-the Dumper
and there is always someone who either accepts it, rejects it or seconds it- (essentially) the Dumpee.
Second:
the Dumper, i.e the initiator of idea in the first place, is expected to have thought thru the decision. even if say its an impulsive one, the Dumper should have at least tried to imagine life without Dumpee and obviously, would have imagined it to be significantly or marginally better than the status quo.
Third:
Because the Dumper would have imagined life to be better and that it was his idea in the first place, he ought to be relatively (this is in freaking italics for a reason) less upset than the Dumpee. Hence, he ought to get over the ordeal of breaking up relatively faster than Dumpee.
So i was really intrigued at some point during The Breakup today. (and blur ones, i am talking about the movie, not some event in my life. cos, like, i'm, like, single. hellooooo.)
Out of the goodness of my heart I wont divulge the details because u should all watch it at least once but yes, if u have i am referring to the part where Vince Vaughn cooks dinner for Jennifer Aniston and the conversation that took place. I just didnt get that part. So incongruent to the rest of the movie and the characters and nope that isnt my idea of a twist in the story line.
Oh well, the reason why i watched the movie-jennifer aniston-didnt disappoint. I want to be her. wait, better still, i want her personal trainer. haha.
but, well, the movie brought up pretty interesting memories about past events. let's just say that some part of the movie hit a raw nerve. but of course u wont read about it here. or anywhere else.
but back to the Dumper and the Dumpee and the interesting moral dilemma i have found myself in. The other way the world works in my head is that, whatever the Dumper and the Dumpee would have their friends believe,
loyalties are divided.
Friends would have to take sides. Would have to help in the bitching sessions. As a friend of either Dumper, Dumpee or (god forbid) both, u simply cannot be objective. Be objective and all ties are severed i say!
So, therein lies my moral dilemma. I am friends with both Dumper and Dumpee and, well, ethically my loyalties lie with Dumpee but personally, i want them to lie with Dumper.
As much as i sympathise, I think Dumpee just deserved it. That said, the Dumper could have done a better job at it but that's a different story.
So now, i cannot meet Dumper anymore and quite honestly the only reason I hung out with Dumpee was so that I could hang out with Dumper. (Because their world works like this and that they are attached to the hip)
I was looking forward to seeing Dumper but that isnt going to happen in quite a while.
So the Bitch Rima thinks that, since all relationships on this Earth are transient and in the larger scheme of things nothing would matter, I should meet Dumper.
Sane Rima (notice the absence of Angel Rima- she doesnt exist) thinks that Dumpee is already taking things badly, I should not compound D's problem. The world is a small place so it would be easy to find out that I have breached that code of friendship. And that is just not nice. So meeting Dumper is out of the question.
i have also realised that
this entry can have possibly no ending and i have to stop typing so that u can stop reading.
aiyah,
basically, moral dilemmas would never have a solution and i'd prob follow Sane Rima's approach.
or, as the famously singaporean saying goes, "see how la."
posted R @ 6:46 am
Monday, August 21, 2006
hullo duck.u know how life has a funny way of playing tricks on u?
like, of all the topics u study for an exam, the topic u didnt study for comes out.
like, of all the unis to get posted to, u get posted to the uni that u absolutely dont want to go.
anyways, if u have no idea what i am talking about then its time to go onto the next blog to amuse urself with someone else's ramblings.
but u probably have an idea cos the funny tricks happen to us all the time.
it happens to me all the time that i always feel that (i swear) god is having fun with my reactions to the tricks i get played upon.
today is the day, after having a lengthy conversation with someone,
that i want something more than anything in the world. (ok la there are other things i want also, but now T-H-I-S is it)
but. but knowing how, whenever i want something i really want i hardly ever get it or that i get the complete opposite of that.
so i am trying hard to take the detached approach, but dammit its not working.
and, no jing, its not wat u think it is.
that one went downhill, will tell u more in e-mail where dignity is preserved. :)
posted R @ 4:51 am
Saturday, August 19, 2006
hullo duck.as some of u know, i am working (technically i am not, but i'll still say i am working to sound important) at SGH and i am attached to the A&E Dept (or to sound more cheem- DEM)
and its beautiful
at the same time its somewat, unnerving?
my sup asks me alot of questions that i actually do know the ans to but somehow i have forgotten. i am not sure if this is cause for concern or i am just in holiday mode or smth.
but yesterday i freaking forgot the difference betn stridor and wheeze. i mean that's like smth i could roll of the tongue the day before OSCE and it was really embaressing not to know. sigh. its somewat frustrating cos u know the damm ans is smwhere at the back of ur mind or that the name of Lignocaine is v famililar but when u are asked out of nowhere u just cant seem to say the right thing.
aiyah, i really dont know wat to think now.
that said, the pple i've met are just, amazing.
i wont go into details cos i might just start gushing or smth, but, like, i cant believe how someone i know seems to have it all- totally smart, laid-back, so very very nice. sigh.
its great the pple i have made frens with. some of them just blow me away.
posted R @ 1:09 am
Monday, August 14, 2006
hullo duck.did u know i am a sore loser.
i absolutely hate
giving in
giving up
losing out
losing in general
yes yes i know i should be happy for pple and whatnot but pls la i am not built that way and until some life-changing event happens and i get all buddhist and zen-like, i am going to look forward to the time when karma works its wonders.
on a completely separate note, i went to the air port yesterday to sent some ppl off and i saw a bunch of VJC ppl (my batch) i think they were fromm A51 or smth and i almost vomitted blood up on seeing them.
its funny how, long after they have graduated from that god-forsaken place, they still have that smug-i-am-smarter-than-you look.
the guys look the same-boring and the girls look the same-cookie cutter.
or maybe its just me. yeach.
posted R @ 10:23 pm
Friday, August 11, 2006
hullo duck.oh yesterday was nice.
there is this place, Lush. the chill out spot by the sea. its so very nice. the wind blows non-stop and its out in the open so, ventilation is heavenly.
and i tried the weirdest concoction- vodka+lychee+smth sweet = ended up looking greenish
it was nice at first but kinda got cruel on the throat- i guess that was the vodka.
but then, after lush there was the NEW ASIA BAR which is on the 70th story of The Westin (or the Swissotel, if u like) and the view ffrom up there is just amazing.
u can pretty much see the whole of singapore from up there and this little country is, sans beautiful mountains and lakes and watnot, still really pretty with the little lights.
and then i did the really swaku thing of trying to figure out where my place was from up there. i got pretty close but maybe it was the Sour Apple Martini tat was kicking in or smth else.
i got sleepy but i still managed to walk all the way home.
which tired me out just enough to sleep my life away.
i am def gg there again and again and again. haha.
sometimes gg on msn depresses me. haha. in the wistful wishful kinda way.
haha.
posted R @ 8:34 am
Monday, August 07, 2006
hullo duck.i dont know how to tell ppl this- "move on, u dimwits"
i mean, i really wish i could. i dont have the guts to and being the gutless idiot that i am, i just keep quiet about it.
i really wish they stopped talking about the good old days. all the time.
wats the point of meeting up when all they ever do is re-hash stories of years gone by?
its like, meeting with yr secondary school frens and realising that all they ever do is talk about the things that made us friends in the first place- secondary school.
surely there is more to u and me than good ol' memories. surely you'd like to know, and not just ask for the bloody sake of asking, wat i am doing with my life now, wat i want to do with it in the future and how i have changed in the process?
because, honestly, as boring as Business Admin sounds, i would really like to know wat it is. and why u are studying it? and yada yada yada.
and also, yes, i know i was the class clown in primary 6 but i am not all about jokes, you know?
sigh.
its been 1 month since i got back.
and, i wish i had done more to achieve the dumb goals i had set out.
i swear, the day school starts for sem 4, i am going to regret it.
posted R @ 8:45 pm
Sunday, August 06, 2006
hullo duck.dinner was great. very simple and yet very elegant.
the company wasnt too good but (well they werent my friends. i was just the host cum cook)
but i think part of the dinner success was thanks to (the only friend i invited) clarissa. its interesting cos she doesnt know how to cook but it was the little things like dishwashing and clearing up that she did that really helped. that really made the difference.
so thank u clArisa. :)
and, i think i have a problem with ang-moh ppl.
posted R @ 1:21 am
