Tuesday, August 22, 2006
hullo duck.
did u know that
i never believe it when ppl tell me that they broke up on mutual terms.
in my mind, the world works like this:
First:
there is always someone who initiates the idea-the Dumper
and there is always someone who either accepts it, rejects it or seconds it- (essentially) the Dumpee.
Second:
the Dumper, i.e the initiator of idea in the first place, is expected to have thought thru the decision. even if say its an impulsive one, the Dumper should have at least tried to imagine life without Dumpee and obviously, would have imagined it to be significantly or marginally better than the status quo.
Third:
Because the Dumper would have imagined life to be better and that it was his idea in the first place, he ought to be
relatively (this is in freaking italics for a reason) less upset than the Dumpee. Hence, he ought to get over the ordeal of breaking up relatively faster than Dumpee.So i was really intrigued at some point during The Breakup today. (and blur ones, i am talking about the movie, not some event in my life. cos, like, i'm, like, single. hellooooo.)
Out of the goodness of my heart I wont divulge the details because u should all watch it at least once but yes, if u have i am referring to the part where Vince Vaughn cooks dinner for Jennifer Aniston and the conversation that took place. I just didnt get that part. So incongruent to the rest of the movie and the characters and nope that isnt my idea of a twist in the story line.
Oh well, the reason why i watched the movie-jennifer aniston-didnt disappoint. I want to be her. wait, better still, i want her personal trainer. haha.
but, well, the movie brought up pretty interesting memories about past events. let's just say that some part of the movie hit a raw nerve. but of course u wont read about it here. or anywhere else.
but back to the Dumper and the Dumpee and the interesting moral dilemma i have found myself in. The other way the world works in my head is that, whatever the Dumper and the Dumpee would have their friends believe,
loyalties are divided.
Friends would have to take sides. Would have to help in the bitching sessions. As a friend of either Dumper, Dumpee or (god forbid) both, u simply cannot be objective. Be objective and all ties are severed i say!
So, therein lies my moral dilemma. I am friends with both Dumper and Dumpee and, well, ethically my loyalties lie with Dumpee but personally, i want them to lie with Dumper.
As much as i sympathise, I think Dumpee just deserved it. That said, the Dumper could have done a better job at it but that's a different story.
So now, i cannot meet Dumper anymore and quite honestly the only reason I hung out with Dumpee was so that I could hang out with Dumper. (Because their world works like this and that they are attached to the hip)
I was looking forward to seeing Dumper but that isnt going to happen in quite a while.
So the Bitch Rima thinks that, since all relationships on this Earth are transient and in the larger scheme of things nothing would matter, I should meet Dumper.
Sane Rima (notice the absence of Angel Rima- she doesnt exist) thinks that Dumpee is already taking things badly, I should not compound D's problem. The world is a small place so it would be easy to find out that I have breached that code of friendship. And that is just not nice. So meeting Dumper is out of the question.
i have also realised that
this entry can have possibly no ending and i have to stop typing so that u can stop reading.
aiyah,
basically, moral dilemmas would never have a solution and i'd prob follow Sane Rima's approach.
or, as the famously singaporean saying goes, "see how la."
posted R @
6:46 am
