Tuesday, November 29, 2005
hullo duck.so i talk to my dad about alot of things. and sometimes it gets pretty heated because he tends to be too opiniated on things and, well, some of the things just don't agree with me. one of which is about parent-child relationships. he would always say that they way a particualr someone is being brought up is just "wrong" (or when he is trying to act cool, "weird"). and i've always maintained that how other people run their lives is completely up to them and we are not even in a position to comment. how he might have deemed fit in bringing up me and ish may not (and has not) gone down well with alot of other people. but, as said, its really not their business.there is someone i know who has a very deceptive relationship with her parents. which, in a way, doesn't matter to me. i have talked about it to my friends and i maintain that after all, its her relationship with her parents. i am in no position to tell her she's wrong or weird or whatever. (although i have my opinions)but it leads me to question: at what point do u draw the line on tings? granted, kids lie about where they were the night before. parents lie (or lied) about where babies came from and where santa lived. everyone lies. but, i am not sure what is right and wrong. i suppose that i am lucky my parents have pretty much allowed me alot of freedom. and i am cognizant of the fact that not everyone is like mom and pops. that there are some pretty unreasonable parents who cloak their rules under a "its-only-for-your-good-you'll-thank-me-later" line of reason for everything from curfews to choice of friends. but. does that give the kids of these pple the "condonence" to lie about pretty much everything? alot of my friends complain that their parents just don't give them space or cut them slack. and when i suggest talking to them they claim that they don't speak the martian language all parents do. that they "just can't get to them." or that "not everyone is like your parents." hence the need to lie. so, as far is lying is concerned, do u draw the line where u think its ok? at some point u are old enough to decide what's right and not and at that point u can lie to them because its ok and u can handle it? as far as my interactions with my complaining friends have gone, i am inclined to think that in truth, they can't. they can't handle it. they can't decide what's right for them. and they aren;t as old as they would like to think themselves to be. and, i can see the reason for that 11pm curfew that they cannot. that, when u shred things apart and see things for what they're worth, their parents are damm reasonable as opposed to the contrary. just like that girl above. she lies about gg out. she cannot handle her priorities and she isn't as mature as she would like to be known to be. (and these are NOT my opinios. just general sentiments) i have to re-iterate that, as i have reminded my dad (and myself, increasingly) that its really none of my business. but sometimes i wonder what i'd do in her place. then again, i have been in her place before. everyday i used to hear stories of some girl who went clubbing, got drugs planted in her bag, and is now charged for some drug offence. hence clubbing was out of the question for me. 11pm curfews were really on the dot. i had to ask them. not inform them. i had to wear what was deemed appropriate by them. and yet i was fine with it. it never was an issue. i have come to realise that it really was for my good. that at that stage (it had nothing to do with age. it was a stage) i couldn't have ever been in a position to decide what was right for me. and when i did reach a stage where i could decide. the reins were handed over to me without any questions. now its more like i tell them what i am doing. 11pm curfews have an indefinite extension as long as i turn up alive. so. to end things. as much as this sounds totally submissive and strange. i really think that, sometimes, rebelling against the powers that be should be given a second thought. that, underneath all that, there really is some good to come out of it. i say this because i have been on both sides. its not from a position of priveledge that i speak.
posted R @
3:17 am
1 comments
hullo duck.
anyways so the mudder irritatingly crap summative (test, to the uninitiated) was yesterday and in my school, they don't return test papers. so there is this feedback session after the paper for students to find out where they went wrong. i usually don't attend those sessions cuz its just, irrelevant, y'know? but i attended yesterdays's session as i know in my bones i am gg to fail this one.
but anyways, so when the lecturer was gg thru MCQ section, it was somewhat annoying. i mean, he would say smth like the answer to qeustion 34 is A and the people around me who got it right heaved very audible sighs of relief. i mean, people, its only ONE mark. its not a life and death thing. its just so secondary school i find. no its more primary schoolish. watever. and then today we had our first lectures on the cardiovascualr system. there is this indian lecturer who doesn't give notes during the lect but usually does so after a few days. so after the lect we were packing to go home and boris noticed a bunch of pple runnning up to the comp to save the powerpoint presentations on their perrenial neck accessory. its like they really RUNN up to the comp. and then boris says 'well that's what differentiates the As from the A minuses and so on'.
but the point i am trying to make here is simple: and they call me the kiasu singaporean.
the level of kiasuism in my school is sometimes, amusing? but sometimes its just annoying. i mean, honestly i don't have an issue with these pple. its like, if that's the way u want to lead your life, its fine. i simply don't have a say as much as u don't have a say in the way i lead mine. but sometimes they encroach on alot of things and it is at that point where i really think someone should just... i dunno do what. tell them to get a grip on things or smth like that.
seriously, and they call ME the kiasu singaporean.
sheesh. sometimes i feel like i fled singapore only to find myself in mini singapore.
posted R @
3:01 am
1 comments
Monday, November 28, 2005
hullo duck.
ah so the studying's over for just a while. in the processs of figuring out which parasite caused which mother irriating infection, many 'why's came to mind. but then, as i logged on to blog i decided to read someone else's blog first and his entry put what i wanted to say in words more profound than i can possibly be capable of. so, while this is not original, is still thought-provoking.
""Such an apt description of law school. The level of stress, the volume of people in the law library, the intense look on everyone's face... it's mad, it's crazy, it's completely and totally insane. Despite my apparent lucidity, i seem to be drawn into this crazy world as well. studying along with everyone else, stressing out cuz i can't find a particular case, resolutely ignoring all other distractions. studying is just like trying to make your way through a vortex, the harder you try, the more you seem to get sucked in. every once in a while when i manage to lift myself out of this insanity, the madness of it all strikes you harder and harder and you feel reluctant to return to it. but irresistable is the gravitational power of the vortex and you invariably get drawn into it all again... or at least until the next time when i manage to extricate myself from it all. not that i'm trying to make a point you know, it's really just an interested observation that i'm making.
i think what makes it worse is the purposelessness(if there's such a word) of it all. why do people study? to pass exams lo. why do we need to pass exams? so can graduate from law school lo. despite the apparent certainty of these answers, there is a great sense of having lost one's way. the process of studying thus appears to be an end in itself, but is it really? how many people can actually say that they are truly aware of where this is all going? I like to pride myself on being oneof them... but every once in a while, you get lost and have to start all over again. To maintain's one's lucidity, clarity of mind and focus of spirit is more difficult than i thought it was in this whirlwind of pointless activity.
And you know what, the most frightening feature of it all is the complete, utter, total lack of emotion. The library appears to be void of emotion... it is just... THERE... the emptiness of heart and soul that pervades the masses is so frightening that i'm completely at a loss of words as to how to describe it.
i suppose that contributes to the insanity. that there no longer is anything to anchor us to our lives and that we allow ourselves to drift aimless, living out day after day in limbo, looking like zombies most of the time... it's kinda a bit like living in the movie dawn of the dead (note the irony/pun). oh well... such is the vicissitude of life.""
posted R @
8:19 pm
0 comments
Monday, November 07, 2005
hullo duck.
i choose to make this public cos i think its more sincere.
so, in response to all of u:
kuan eng: i read ur comment on that post about u and i honestly don't get what u are saying. me and fall for a malaysian. sure. that will so definitely happen. half the male populus in IMU has already swept me off my feet. *fluttering in air*
oh and thanks for offering to beat up the boy-with-the-disturbing-comments. i cleverly told him about my blog and i think he read my post. he is very well-behaved around me now.
charlene: i wasn't being sarcastic!! i really think your blogs really funny. like laugh-out-loud funny. really ok. i wasn't being sarcastic. u take me wrong.
mel: hullo babe. i don't have your blog password so i cannot read your blog. tell me the passwaord k. oh wait. can i guess? gimme a clue! when are u coming back to singapore?
bastard: hey wats up. i suppose what u said about being friendly and all is right. i shall be dao and a total bitch to pple i think are getting too weird. anyways, long time no see. and pray tell the origins of your nick. why bastard of all things?
posted R @
8:14 pm
1 comments
hullo duck.
so i just came back from singapore. diwali was the routine. not a bad thing really. i find that this is one of the very fewwww routines i am fine with. anyways, the thing is that every year since i was 12 or something, i gamble on diwali. its always blackjack and my stake is always 20cents. and every year i lose. or forget the rules. and lose.
but this year. i surprised everyone. i won like at almost every single house i visited. everyone was impressed at my gambling ablities. but at one of my cousin's houses i started losing really badly. so at one point i decided to bow out of the game. and then, one of my uncle's ah beng friends placed a $10 bet for me so that i could keep on playing. i told him my luck is really bad and i just keep drawing all the bad cards and he said its ok. "jus playyy".
so then. i drew 4 cards and had a sum of 13. i figured i could risk it by drawing a fifth card and still make it to be under 21. i asked the ah beng. and he said "jus take". so i did. and i drew a queen of hearts. and so the ah beng had to pay double the bet. he lost $20 because of me and i felt really really bad. i offered to pay him back bu he refused. when i apologised, i got the most sagely ah beng advice ever.
"aiya. life like that onnnne. sumtime, you win. sumtime, u loo*. mewer-mind. is okaayyy. don't become addict to this game like uncle. (toothy grin, showing gold teeth) "
on a seperate note, i ate lot. i am going to swear of indian food for awhile. seriously.
oh and i shall bitch about the man on the train back to kl. that jackass is going to burn in hell. eh i dunno why my fonts are so big now. so weird.
posted R @
7:51 pm
0 comments
