Monday, November 28, 2005
hullo duck.
ah so the studying's over for just a while. in the processs of figuring out which parasite caused which mother irriating infection, many 'why's came to mind. but then, as i logged on to blog i decided to read someone else's blog first and his entry put what i wanted to say in words more profound than i can possibly be capable of. so, while this is not original, is still thought-provoking.
""Such an apt description of law school. The level of stress, the volume of people in the law library, the intense look on everyone's face... it's mad, it's crazy, it's completely and totally insane. Despite my apparent lucidity, i seem to be drawn into this crazy world as well. studying along with everyone else, stressing out cuz i can't find a particular case, resolutely ignoring all other distractions. studying is just like trying to make your way through a vortex, the harder you try, the more you seem to get sucked in. every once in a while when i manage to lift myself out of this insanity, the madness of it all strikes you harder and harder and you feel reluctant to return to it. but irresistable is the gravitational power of the vortex and you invariably get drawn into it all again... or at least until the next time when i manage to extricate myself from it all. not that i'm trying to make a point you know, it's really just an interested observation that i'm making.
i think what makes it worse is the purposelessness(if there's such a word) of it all. why do people study? to pass exams lo. why do we need to pass exams? so can graduate from law school lo. despite the apparent certainty of these answers, there is a great sense of having lost one's way. the process of studying thus appears to be an end in itself, but is it really? how many people can actually say that they are truly aware of where this is all going? I like to pride myself on being oneof them... but every once in a while, you get lost and have to start all over again. To maintain's one's lucidity, clarity of mind and focus of spirit is more difficult than i thought it was in this whirlwind of pointless activity.
And you know what, the most frightening feature of it all is the complete, utter, total lack of emotion. The library appears to be void of emotion... it is just... THERE... the emptiness of heart and soul that pervades the masses is so frightening that i'm completely at a loss of words as to how to describe it.
i suppose that contributes to the insanity. that there no longer is anything to anchor us to our lives and that we allow ourselves to drift aimless, living out day after day in limbo, looking like zombies most of the time... it's kinda a bit like living in the movie dawn of the dead (note the irony/pun). oh well... such is the vicissitude of life.""
posted R @
8:19 pm
