Tuesday, November 29, 2005
hullo duck.so i talk to my dad about alot of things. and sometimes it gets pretty heated because he tends to be too opiniated on things and, well, some of the things just don't agree with me. one of which is about parent-child relationships. he would always say that they way a particualr someone is being brought up is just "wrong" (or when he is trying to act cool, "weird"). and i've always maintained that how other people run their lives is completely up to them and we are not even in a position to comment. how he might have deemed fit in bringing up me and ish may not (and has not) gone down well with alot of other people. but, as said, its really not their business.there is someone i know who has a very deceptive relationship with her parents. which, in a way, doesn't matter to me. i have talked about it to my friends and i maintain that after all, its her relationship with her parents. i am in no position to tell her she's wrong or weird or whatever. (although i have my opinions)but it leads me to question: at what point do u draw the line on tings? granted, kids lie about where they were the night before. parents lie (or lied) about where babies came from and where santa lived. everyone lies. but, i am not sure what is right and wrong. i suppose that i am lucky my parents have pretty much allowed me alot of freedom. and i am cognizant of the fact that not everyone is like mom and pops. that there are some pretty unreasonable parents who cloak their rules under a "its-only-for-your-good-you'll-thank-me-later" line of reason for everything from curfews to choice of friends. but. does that give the kids of these pple the "condonence" to lie about pretty much everything? alot of my friends complain that their parents just don't give them space or cut them slack. and when i suggest talking to them they claim that they don't speak the martian language all parents do. that they "just can't get to them." or that "not everyone is like your parents." hence the need to lie. so, as far is lying is concerned, do u draw the line where u think its ok? at some point u are old enough to decide what's right and not and at that point u can lie to them because its ok and u can handle it? as far as my interactions with my complaining friends have gone, i am inclined to think that in truth, they can't. they can't handle it. they can't decide what's right for them. and they aren;t as old as they would like to think themselves to be. and, i can see the reason for that 11pm curfew that they cannot. that, when u shred things apart and see things for what they're worth, their parents are damm reasonable as opposed to the contrary. just like that girl above. she lies about gg out. she cannot handle her priorities and she isn't as mature as she would like to be known to be. (and these are NOT my opinios. just general sentiments) i have to re-iterate that, as i have reminded my dad (and myself, increasingly) that its really none of my business. but sometimes i wonder what i'd do in her place. then again, i have been in her place before. everyday i used to hear stories of some girl who went clubbing, got drugs planted in her bag, and is now charged for some drug offence. hence clubbing was out of the question for me. 11pm curfews were really on the dot. i had to ask them. not inform them. i had to wear what was deemed appropriate by them. and yet i was fine with it. it never was an issue. i have come to realise that it really was for my good. that at that stage (it had nothing to do with age. it was a stage) i couldn't have ever been in a position to decide what was right for me. and when i did reach a stage where i could decide. the reins were handed over to me without any questions. now its more like i tell them what i am doing. 11pm curfews have an indefinite extension as long as i turn up alive. so. to end things. as much as this sounds totally submissive and strange. i really think that, sometimes, rebelling against the powers that be should be given a second thought. that, underneath all that, there really is some good to come out of it. i say this because i have been on both sides. its not from a position of priveledge that i speak.
posted R @
3:17 am
